Thursday, May 27, 2004
Blogs in the news! Woo hoo! :)
Hollywood Mystery Man 'Rance' Has Internet Abuzz
Thu May 27, 2:51 PM ET
By Dan Whitcomb
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - He skewers Hollywood and the cult of celebrity on an anonymous web log that has spawned a cult following. He claims to be an A-list actor, writing under a pseudonym, but admits he may not be believed.
Who, exactly, is "Rance?"
Could he really be, as some believe, Owen Wilson (news), Ben Affleck (news), Jim Carrey (news) or even George Clooney (news)?
The answer may perhaps be found somewhere in the entries on his Weblog -- or "blog" -- which applies a trenchant wit and jaundiced insider's eye in chronicling the life of a Hollywood celebrity. Then again, it could all be a hoax.
Though Rance granted an interview with Reuters, he responded to questions only via email, using pseudonymous dead-end accounts for both himself and the reporter and never offering a glimpse into his real identity.
Asked if he was, in fact, a well-known actor, he responded: "Or a well-known actress perhaps. Just not Donald Trump."
In the blog's first-ever post last December, Rance introduced himself this way: "Suffice it to say I know what its like to see your picture on the magazine rack every now and again when you pay for groceries."
Rance's blog has since spawned a furious guessing game on the Internet and beyond, becoming a regular topic at Hollywood parties.
Xeni Jardin, a writer on the "Boing-Boing" blog, recently told her readers that Rance was rumored to be "Starsky and Hutch" star Owen Wilson, a claim that the actor's publicist has denied.
BEN AFFLECK? GEORGE CLOONEY? JIM CARREY?
The anonymous editor of Hollywood gossip site Defamer suggests it could be Ben Affleck -- a conjecture built around the supposed link between a cryptic quiz on Rance's blog and an Affleck tattoo.
Others have surmised that Rance is Jim Carrey, George Clooney, Benicio Del Toro (news) or Luke Wilson (news), Owen's brother. And one of Rance's readers recently sent him a comment that read simply: "You are, in fact, Matthew Perry (news). Game on?"
Meanwhile, a Defamer reader tried to unmask Rance by researching the term "Captain Hoof," which appears in the Web address. She came to the conclusion that he was a San Francisco man who worked at an ad agency and once ran a Web site with a similar name -- possibly dedicated to an imaginary horse.
The man, who no longer works for the agency, could not be contacted for this story.
For his part, Rance offers the electronic equivalent of a shrug to the endless chatter about his identity, saying that it was never his intention to play hide-and-seek with the world.
"The guessing game distracts from any message I might have," he told Reuters. "Then again, I'm not yet sure I have a message and in any case the amusement makes it all worth it. More than once I've seen items that upon first glance suggested the game might be up and I felt my stomach plummet."
Rance said he set up the Web site on a whim with help from a computer-savvy friend, seeing it as a "really good way to bitch about my job" without suffering any career repercussions. He chose the name "Rance" as a pun on "rants."
The diverse themes of the Web log revolve around pitch meetings and parties, the machinations of Hollywood at work and play and its fascination with sex and celebrity.
Rance loves shrimp and logic puzzles. He's tolerant of paparazzi but tough on gossips. He's bored by Shakespeare and the summer blockbuster "Troy" but admires Joan Rivers.
And through it all he's amused by life in Los Angeles -- the way a birthday party in the suburbs can turn into an unexpected meeting with a dominatrix and a late-night nude dip in the Chateau Marmont pool can be interrupted by an SUV crash on Sunset Boulevard.
"It is tough in L.," Rance says of the city. "The good news is there are Fatburgers."
Though he has received two "serious" proposals from people in publishing to turn his blog into a book, Rance said he has not yet pursued that idea, content for now to communicate to the outside world through the Internet.
"With no disrespect intended, media in general seldom if ever permits a person, be he actor or President, to present himself the way he would like -- and certainly not to the degree a blog does," Rance said.
"Still, there's a megabyte or two's worth of irony in my situation," he said.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
BBQ, BAD SONGS, BROKEN TREES
Zo's computer has been down as she attempts to make the transition from dialup to DSL (she needs a new ethernet card.....anyone want to donate one for her Mac?)
And me, well, between doula-babies, kiddo, work, storms (which took out one of our trees), dog, family, loss of babysitter (and thus, total loss of personal time), I'm just nucking futs.
So, of course, this means no Diva-time either. Zo and I have been near-strangers these last few weeks - soooo weird.
Except for last Saturday's BBQ, where we.....
--ate steaks and ate TWO kinds of pasta salad (low carb and full-on "I'm training for a marathon" pasta)
--drank frozen cosmopolitans
--watched in evil amusement as the single-people-with-no-children developed a glazed-over look in their eyes from the sheer volume of activity generated by six children, two dogs and a radio.
--sang karaoke at the top of our lungs: some good (JULIE & JIM) and some.....not so good (VI & ZO), and the big fat (well, skinny, really) party-pooper (DANIEL) who refused to sing at all, but heckled each and every one of us....claiming to be our "Karaoke Simon Cowell". (Rumor has it that the first thing he did on Sunday morning was sing to Zo.....butthead.)
AND
--gaped in amazement as a HUGE branch of Zo's century tree in the back yard came crashing down mere inches from Zander. I'm sure when Zo gets back on here, she'll share the rest of THAT tale.
A good time was had by all, as we slogged our way home at 2 a.m. (Thank goodness I had a designated driver!)
We miss you very much, our Diva-pals!! Please know that even though we haven't been able to blog as much as we'd like to, we think about you all the time, and you're welcome to email us at divaconfessions@yahoo.com.
Diva-Love to all,
Vi
Friday, May 21, 2004
Are you EVER ready for this??
Kiddo came to me last night and told me that his friend, Steven, had said to him "go have sex with yourself."
Beyond that, he had said "you should go have sex with your mom."
WHAT????
I asked him if he knew what "sex" meant....he said "making babies." Which, of course, is not inaccurate.
But still.....
I wasn't ready for this.
Of course, I told his teacher today, who told me that he'd let the principal handle such an issue.
Before he went to sleep last night, he asked, "Mom, what is sex?"
I told him we'd talk about it when we were both more awake.
Jesus.
He's only 8 years old. And he's the kind of kid who will share "new" information with anyone....thus, I'm quite scared to have the, um "talk" with him.
I told his dad it was time to have the "talk."
I sincerely hope that the Principal had a discussion with Steven's mom.
How do I explain this to such a bright child without him discussing it with everyone he knows?
Oh. My. Heavens.
Whatever universal forces are out there.
Help!
-Vi
Diva Sadness
I woke up and discovered that my two degus had become only one.
Once I took the youngest (Brigid) and put her in her run-around ball (with the dog outside, of course), I dug through the wood chips and discovered that Callie had passed away, and Brigid, being the good sister she is, had buried her and sat on top of the place, crying.
I cried.
Kiddo cried.
And sure, some of you may think it's silly - crying over a member of the rodent family....
but she was a really, really sweet pet, and only 3 years old.
It broke my heart to take her out of the aquarium and set it up for Brigid, alone. After all, Callie was her sister. And regardless of your place in the animal world, losing your sister makes you sad.
Brigid has been sitting in the corner, alone, all evening.
It makes me wonder if we should get her a new friend, or leave her be.
Degus are very social creatures, so it worries me that Brigid may die from loss and loneliness.
Damn.
I haven't felt this sort of sadness since I was a kid and my pet fish, Tina, died.
It made me cuddle and hug my puppy a lot, though.
(by the way, we finally found a crate that will hold her - although it cost me $130 - I don't care, because finding a crate that can hold her means that I can keep her rather than giving her back to the dog shelter).
Surprising, how much losing such a sweet, small pet can affect a person.
Diva-mourningly Yours,
Vi
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Doin' the Slacker Dance
Zo's been far too busy to take up the blogging for my busy slacker ass, so I'm sorry you haven't heard much from us lately. (Doin' the slacker dance - which looks something like laying on the couch and making the "whoop-dee-do" gesture with both index fingers).
I'll do my best to give you the quick run down:
DOG: we're debating whether to rename her Jezebel ('cause she such an attention slut) or Houdini (since she's a master escape artist). She's managed to get out of a crate three different ways, a cage, the basement, AND the backyard. Finally dropped $130 on a cage that holds her. (good gravy!!)
KIDDO: Still amazing. Driving me nuts. Getting ready for summer camp. He's grown like a weed, and is now almost up to my shoulder. Holy crap.
WORK: Three babies due in the next month. How did that happen?? I was supposed to have May OFF. lol. AND, I've been contacted by a local hospital to interview for their in-house doula program. If that comes through, I may have to give up my p/t job with the resale shop. I've gotta take my activities down a notch.
MENTAL/PHYSICAL: Went to the doctor yesterday. She looked very disturbed by what she called "my significant weight gain." I was freaking out. I asked her how much her chart said I'd gained. 90 pounds, she said. WHAT??? Basically, the last time I'd been there, the nurse wrote down my weight incorrectly. The weight she had me listed at previously I haven't been since I was 19. I've actually lost 6 pounds. (whew). Mental? Well, some days I'm more mental than others.
HOME: Getting the house together: light fixtures - done. new couch - done. repainting kitchen - in process. cleaning up the mountain of clothes i've accumulated......still working on that.
SYNOPSIS: Overall, things are good, busy as ever. I'll blog as I'm able. Zo's net has been down for a bit - she's getting DSL - woo hoo!! I'm sure the Divas will be live and blogging again reasonably soon.
Thanks for your kind notes and wishes.
Diva-Love to All!
Vi
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I may have to rename my dog...
While working on a painting tonight, I suddenly heard a wail and crying, followed by "Mom! Come here!"
Of course, I went running, thinking kiddo had bashed his head and was bleeding all over the floor.
Instead, he was holding up a hunk of black rubber, and wailing "Look what Lexi did...she killed Batty!"
(For all of you who don't know, Batty was a rubber bat that kiddo's grandma got him last Halloween. He names all his favorite...er...pets.)
Sure enough, Lexi had chewed off the head, feet, and part of one wing.
I hugged and consoled him, held poor decimated Batty in front of Lexi, who immediately cowered and put her paws over her face. (She knew she shouldn't have done it).
Got kiddo in the bathtub. He followed up with a call to grandma, begging her to find another Batty.
Hmmmm....would another name change be even more traumatic to my already separation-anxiety-ridden dog?
C'mon - "Ozzy". It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
DivArcanely Yours,
Vi
Monday, May 03, 2004
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhh!
Yes, I know I keep saying it, but art is hard. Even though it's fun, I'm wondering how artists find time in their lives to DO art. Between the kiddo, the dog, the house, work & making time to pee and sleep, how do people DO it??
Like, right now I need to be doing some casting & shopping for stuff for the show this weekend, but I have to go clean out my old car so I can sell it to the dealership to have enough money to pay for the removal of a tree in my back yard that has Dutch Elm Disease. (pretty gross, by the way - beetles that infest a tree - ewww.)
On top of that, I had some pretty f-ed up dreams last night.....too freaky even to write down here! And they say that in your dreams, all the characters are just aspects of yourself. Which completely freaks me out. But also makes me wonder.....because when I was a kid, I had this terribly vivid dream (that I remember to this day) where all my erasers that were shaped like dinosaurs came to life, actual-size, and began to crash buildings, stomp on people, tear cars apart, etc....but I was always one step ahead and didn't get squished.
Does that mean that the people getting squished were me? Or that the dinosaurs were me? Did I want to squish all the people and things around me? (Would've been pretty heavy for a 7-year old). Which also freaks me out, since my kiddo is 8. Does he have dreams like this? Do I need to worry?
Good lord. I need a night out. Too much time to think and look what happens!
Inquisitively Yours,
Vi
