Wednesday, April 28, 2004
OH DEAR GOD.
I've become a.....(gasp, choke, gulp) "Dupable Adult."
Ok, kids, here's the drama:
I have had the same "main" babysitter for about two years now. I've lived in the same house for nearly ten years, and I've known this girl since she was my kiddo's age. I pay her pretty well - $5/hour, even when he's sleeping. (Not a bad rate in my opinion, since I used to make one or two bucks an hour when I was her age).
So, tonight, I had a massage client scheduled and some errands to run - as ever, called the sitter to come hang with the kiddo so I could work & run errands quickly. The sitter asked me when I'd be home: "About ten?" she said. I told her, probably, unless I decided to come home a little early, because I had a fairly busy day. "Oh, ok," she said - "Just call me when you're on your way."
Okay.....
While I'm out, I get a phone call from her....to ask me - again - when I'll be home. I tell her I'm not sure, and ask her why. She says it's because she & kiddo are having so much fun, that she doesn't want the evening to get cut short.....and asks me again what time I'll be home. I tell her I'll be home when I get there, and ask why she's so concerned about time (she lives next door, and can always crash on the couch if she gets tired). She says it's no big deal, and will see me later.
I'm feeling nervous.
I call back and ask to speak with kiddo - ask him if he's having a good time, etc.....he says yes, but he wants me to come home soon. I promise him I'll get home as early as I can.
I run errands, then decide to drive up my street the opposite way of how I normally go, and park in front of the neighbor's house instead of my own.
When I get to the door and unlock it, it's chained. I call the sitter's name through the door several times, but she doesn't reply.
I'm worried.
She comes rushing up from the basement, holding one of kiddo's shirts.
I ask her where she was, and she tells me she was downstairs, getting a shirt for kiddo that he said he wanted to wear tomorrow. (The shirt she's holding is the shirt he wore to school yesterday).
I ask her why he's not asleep yet, as it's 9:15p.m. She says that he IS asleep, she just went down to get it. (--Also--side note--kiddo is VERY particular. If he says he wants a shirt for tomorrow, he won't go to sleep until he has it in hand.)
She goes back downstairs. I put down my bags - I'm VERY suspicious at this point, look down into the basement, and then decide (women's intuition), to go to my front porch.
A TEENAGE BOY IS WALKING FROM MY DRIVEWAY TO THE SIDEWALK!!
I realize that the reason she had the door chained and was in the basement is that she had a boyfriend over, and let him out of the house through my basement door.
Things start clicking - the reason my backyard fence keeps being left open - even though I shut it every time. And, a few weeks ago, when I went downstairs in the morning to get clothes from the dryer, the basement door was OPEN.
I'm stunned. Horrified.
I go back into the house, as the sitter calls up to me and asks if I need anything from downstairs. I tell her no, but that she needs to come upstairs, because I need to talk to her.
When she comes up, it goes something like this:
V: Why did you have a boy over to my house?
S: What are you talking about?
V: You heard me - why did you invite a boy over to my house?
S: I don't know what you're talking about.
V: Oh, so you're telling me that you don't know the boy who just walked down my driveway and out to the sidewalk?
S: (silence)
V: Don't lie to me. I was a teenager not that long ago, babe. I've snuck boys into the house, snuck them out, gotten busted, and gotten grounded for it.....I can't believe you would violate my trust this way.
S: (quietly) I'm sorry.
V: You should be. I've told you many times that you may not do anything in my house that your mother would not approve of. I pay you to watch my son and take care of the dog while I'm out - not invite strange boys to my house and make out with your boyfriend!
S: Oh! You don't think we were.....
V: No, I would hope not. But that's completely beside the point. He should never have been here. And you know that if and when I tell your mother about this that you will likely never be able to babysit for me again.
S: Please don't tell her.
V: ....I don't think I can trust you again.
S: If you don't tell her, I promise - it will never happen again.
V: It will never happen again, period!
S: Ok, ok. Please think about this. Please don't tell her.
V: You need to get your things and go home. I am far too angry to speak to you right now.
S: (walking out the door) Please, just think about it.
V: You need to go home now.
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I am beside myself about this. I'm in the position of a) remembering how it felt to be in her position, b) knowing that if it were my child, i would want to know, and c) feeling hurt and angry for both myself and my kiddo. He's been telling me for months that he doesn't want her to babysit anymore, because she's "boring." And now I realize what was going on. She was in a rush to get him into bed and asleep so she could invite her boyfriend over.
Of course, I will have to tell her mother. She's 15 - how can I not??? And I hate being "that grown-up." AAAAAAAAAAAAAgggghhhhhh!! When did this happen??? When did I become grown up enough to bust teenagers making out in my house???
*sigh*
DivAgoggingly Yours,
Vi
Saturday, April 24, 2004
All the news that's fit to blog
Zo doesn't have to work at the salad bar! Yay! We both signed on to work at a local children's consignment & maternity support center. Great chick runs the place, and the money doesn't hurt. ;)
I'd love to stay & blog, but my last April doula-mom just called to say she's heading to the hospital. Woo hoo - baby number four!
Blog 'atcha later!
Vi
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Random Thoughts from a Random Mindset
We've been invited to submit work to another art show! Pretty psyched about that, don'tcha know. Of course, this means that I have to work on more pieces....oh darn. ;) Truth is, I've never had so much fun. It's focused, labor-intensive and completely exhilarating!
Looked on our stats. Funniest search? "beagle secrets." Seriously - beagle secrets. I'm not sure what's funnier - that someone's looking for beagle secrets, or that beagles have secrets to tell.....(that's the LAST time I let Lexi use the computer!!)
Zo and I have received an invitation to cocktails from a fun JBF we met some months ago. We're considering the invitation.....there's an interesting element that is a part of the invitation...hmmmmm.
I am a reality-TV junkie. Sad, but true. Only here can I admit it. I'm starting a 12-step group for it soon.
Does anyone else have protein cravings when they have PMS? I want eggs, steak, chicken, beef jerky. Aaaaagh! I'm on Atkins the third week of each month.
Oh sure, this is disjointed and odd, but hey, so am I, and it helps to get back into my blogging-grooooove.
Diva-Strangely Yours,
Vi
Monday, April 19, 2004
Take this job and….don’t chew gum.
Zo: is it a bad thing to cope by drinking during the day now and then?
Vi: (laughing) Not necessarily. Why, babe – what’s going on?
Zo: I got a job.
Vi: Honey, that’s great!
Zo: Don’t be happy for me. I’m working at (a local grocery store).
Vi: Oh.
Zo: In the salad bar.
Vi: In the salad bar?
Zo: Because I love salad.
Vi: Is that what you said to get hired?
Zo: No, I did my imitation of hot wings.
Vi: Really? How does that go?
Zo: I’m kidding.
Vi: Oh. ‘cause I was trying to picture that dance in my head.
Zo: They gave me a job description.
Vi: Hmmm…like “make sure the kidney beans are firm, but not undercooked”?
Zo: No, more like no exotic hair colors, multiple piercings, or gum-chewing.
Vi: What about tic-tac sucking?
Zo: Hmmm. I don’t know…..
Vi: ‘Cause you’ve gotta have fresh breath when you’re breathing on the salad.
Zo: (sigh) Ah well. A starving DivArtist has gotta do, what a starving DivArtist has gotta do.
At least she won’t starve at the salad bar.
-Vi
ABC's
Dear Readers,
Yes, I'm a horrible speller but not THIS bad! In looking over some old posts (Yes, being sentimental and reflective today) and I've noticed that in doing some changes and upgrades all of my Zoe (posted from a Mac posts) now have quite a few spelling errors and letters missing. Thanks Mo'Time for upgrading our fav blog tools and Readers, just hang with it. I'm sure you can still figure out what I was trying to say. I just didn't want you to think I'm THAT dumb of a blonde. LOL
Love,
Zoe
Happy Birthday Dave Gray!
I’m baaaaaaaack!
Inspired. In awe. High.
My my. I’ve missed you all. I’ve been on hiatus entirely too long. It’s been crazy though and thanks to Vi I’m sure you have some idea of what’s been going on. I turned 30. I was crowned with my first tiara. I exhibited in my first art show since college. I’ve come to the realization that I AM an artist. Holy moly! That was a biggie. Venus Envy rocked! Just read Vi’s post on it. It was such an honor to exhibit along side such phenomenally talented women. That sounds like a lot of happenings right there doesn’t it? Oh! But it doesn’t stop there!
I not only attended my first birth but I was invited to photograph it! 100 photographs and a 8lb 2oz little girl later I swayed between tears and laughter for quite a long while. My cheeks hurt from smiling. I’ve given birth but it is something else entirely to be on the other side. There aren’t words in the dictionary for how I felt being there – hidden safely behind my camera. And while I searched for words to describe it I called my momma, my grandma and a few other rockin’ chics to tell them. I still hadn’t found the right words 24 hours later when I got the call to photograph another birth. Another girl! 7lb 13oz. My vicarious daughters. I’m still gushing and feeling mushy. In awe. High.
And last night came an invitation to exhibit at another popular STL art show. They saw our work at Venus Envy and loved it enough to ask Vi and I to show. Individual work this time! www.artcoopstl.org if you’re in the area and would like to attend.
So, as you can see, there has been a ton of wonderful things going on in this DivArtists world!
I’ll promise to try to visit more often now if you do the same.
Love,
Zoe
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Every Moment Is Amazing.
WOW. What a week! Venus Envy was a smashing success & good time. In addition, I had two doula-babies born this week - back-to-back. One on the 15th, whom I jokingly refer to as 'daddy's little tax deduction,' and one born on the 16th - how cool a birthday is that - 04-16-04. If you're a number-nerd like Zo and I, you see the coolness in that birthdate. ;)
Amusing moments in labor the last few weeks:
"Aaaeee - don't touch my terminator arm!!" (in reference to the hep-lock in one mom's hand)
"Babies suck. Oh god, I hate babies." (nurse's reply to mom): "Oh honey, it's not babies you hate, it's transition."
Mom to Dad: "I hate you. I really hate you." Dad to Mom: "Awwww, honey, I hate you, too."
Dad to Mom: "You make me proud to be a woman." (me, laughing) Mom to Dad: "You're not a woman!! Right now, you have no idea what it's like to be a woman!"
(same mom, later - after an intense contraction): "You are SOOOO gonna treat me like a f*cking queen for the rest of my life!" (dad's reply): "Yes, I am - every day for the rest of your life."
(and even later, the same mom, to HER mother): "Mom, verbal contracts are legally binding in Missouri, right?"
(me to another mom): "So, what kind of movies did you bring to watch?" (mom's reply): gay porn. (laughter ensues). (my reply): lesbian porn, or gay porn? (mom): gay porn. (me and Zo, in unison): "damn."
Each of the three situations, unique. Each of the moms, Truly unique. Baby names? Jadon, True and Sarina.
God, I love my job.
-Vi
Monday, April 12, 2004
Grateful
Oh. Oh My. Oh My Goodness. Good Gravy, Myrtle, even.
We could not have planned/asked/hoped for a better weekend than Venus Envy Weekend. {Or "Veni" as we've referred to it, tongue-in-cheek (multiple penises = peni, multiple venuses = veni)}.
Friday night: Preview Party Night. All the Veni in their best attire, to look good for the press, one another, and anyone who paid the $50/ticket price to attend. We met the most incredible women. It was a fantastic opportunity for all of the artists to get together and share commentary, questions, admiration and experience.
Just a few of the fabulous Veni that we are sure will turn up in later blogs (as we have bonded so well):
Lisa-Marie & Amy (Title of one of Lisa-Marie's pieces: "eat my beef, it's what's for dinner." Need I say more??)
Crystal (and thus, boyfriend, Jason - Crystal's work is both awe and fear-inspiring)
Lori (onion-ring painter extraordinaire - and I say that with much respect)
Julie (can't say enough lovely things about her paintings)
Tilnise (beautiful woman; thought-provoking, tarot-card-like drawings)
Jamie & Ann (both photographers, but with unique styles/personalities - loads of fun)
Mary Beth (oh my goodness - Zo, me AND my mom LOVE her work!)
The-Other-Woman (aka, Dorothy, who is a fantastic seamstress/artist. I'm soooo getting a corset!)
Angela (whose breathtaking, sensual, marble sculptures I want to take home and run my hands over all day long)
and Ms. Julia "Butterfly" Hill, who was gracious, charming, inspiring and sweet.
There were, of course, numerous other women who participated and we met - these are simply the few with whom we made a connection and spent time with.
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I have to tell you - it's one thing to have them tell you that "about 5,000 people will attend this event." It's another thing entirely, to experience 5,000 people walking past you, looking at your work (amongst the others), comment, compliment, and move along. It was overwhelming. Brilliant. Fantastic.
I was privileged to have many friends attend the event at our invitation and look at our work. In several instances, I came across friends (and even an ex-boyfriend) whom I hadn't seen in years who exclaimed, "I didn't know you were an artist."
Well, hell, sugar. I didn't know I was, either. It seems that such a subjective realization was mine to have, as well as theirs. :)
I'm happy. Proud, even. I felt - and continue to feel - humbled, inspired, awestruck - to be counted among the number of talented women in my presence that evening.
Not the least of which is my Diva-Pal, Zoë. Such gratitude I cannot properly express in words.
Guess I'll have to keep creating art in order to find a channel for this energy. ;)
DivArtistly Yours,
Vi
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Divas don't wear thongs EVERYday (just on special occasions)
Nine days straight of working and diva-fying the world wiped me out. I slept half the day away today, after watching Zo's toddler this morning so she could do a photo shoot.
Pretty soon, I'll be posting about the birth I attended on March 29th. It was incredible, and I think it would be cool for folks to read about what doulas do. :) And don't worry - I'll provide a disclaimer/warning for those of you who have reservations on reading about birth. ;)
Geeeez. Where's the HUMOR these days? I know I'm having funny moments.....I just can't remember all of them. OH - except for this one from Zo's party:
Her Mom gave her the most adorable pair of flip-flops for her birthday - taupe, with little sparkly things hanging from the straps. Zo put them on and was walking around in them as we were taking pictures of her-in-a-tiara with everyone at the party. Our friend Brad tells her to sit on his lap for their picture. She does, and we all sit around laughing and talking.
Renee says - "Your thongs are absolutely adorable!"
Zo says (coyly, hand on hip) - "How do you know I'm wearing a thong?"
Me/Brad/Renee - look at her and blink for a moment - then realize that while Renee was talking about her shoes, Zo (for some reason) thought she was talking about her underwear. We all crack up.
Zo blushes and begs me not to blog it.
Oh please. As if.
Diva-Embarrassingly Yours,
Vi
